Betty and Odean
In a lifetime we all hope for that one true love. We are subjected to the “happily ever after” we see in the movies. Prince Charming sweeps the Princess off her feet and they ride off into the sunset and live happy. But in reality this is a rare occasion. There is hardly anyone that believes in real love, they settle down with someone and then something they think is “better” comes along and they trail that person leaving you behind.
After experiencing this several times I almost gave up on the real power of true love. That is until I thought back on the life of my grandparents and all they went through.
My grandmother, Betty, and grandfather, Odean were married for just over 51 years before cancer took her life in July of 02. It was not a perfect marriage at all times but they made it work. Through the good and bad, they stuck it out and loved each other unconditionally.
Betty was a feisty gal who had a way of getting her point across and makes you think it was all your idea or doing. That is until you got home later and thought about it. All you could do is smirk and think “that was a good one”. I find myself adopting this type of thinking as well. My mother and I call it “Betty Ruthing” and it works wonders!
She did have a way about her, loving, stern, kind, and caring. The kind of woman I strive to be. One of my favorite stories I heard about her was when her and my grandpa were married and they just moved into the house they lived in for as long as I can remember. I guess the walls were a color she did not fancy and for weeks she begged my grandfather to paint. He always put it off “I will do it tomorrow, next week..” and so on. So one day she invited the preacher to come visit the following Sunday….Upon my grandfathers arrival home from work she greeted him with a kiss as usual and he came into the living room. She told him of the upcoming visit and he then noticed something….he was horrified….she had taken the color of paint that she wanted to see on the walls and in large letters painted the word “SHIT”…needless to say, the walls were painted before the preacher arrived.
Odean was a man of a simple life; fishing, family, and hard work were his passion. He loved a good conversation and a good joke. Always trying to bring a smile to the faces of everyone he met, he would be silly and quirky. There was never a doll moment, whether he was building a new contraption for us grandkids to play with or sharing stories of the war and his younger years. He always wore overalls when he would work and he told me a very important piece of information about them. “Christy, if you are going to wear overalls you have to be very careful. If you fart it will travel up and come out right under your nose!” hahaha he was always looking out for me XD. They saved him once though, when we had to tear down the houseboat (yes, a floating house) he was standing next to my dad. They were knocking down the support beams and I was tossing them to my brother. Grandpa stepped on a piece of wood that had broken and he fell through towards the water and lord knows what else under what was left of the houseboat. My dad grabbed him by the straps and hung on. As my grandpa dangled there my dad asked if he was ok….his response: “Hell no I aint ok!” it is still the running joke to this day.
So back to point, today marks 5 years since my grandfather passed. Just about 3 years after my grandmother. He was a very strong man and rarely showed us any weakness. So much so that my father thought he didn’t care about my grandmother’s passing. I am the same as him so I knew he was dealing in his own way. I know he loved her so much and missed her terribly.
He was in a coma for over 20 days due to complications of surgery after suffering from an aneurism. We visited often and sat and watched while he laid there hooked to machines. This was not life. At one point he woke and tried to speak to me but the tubes in his throat prevented him from making words. I could see the pain in his eyes. He didn’t want to stay hooked to these machines. I can’t say I blamed him; I wouldn’t want that life either.
The last time I saw him “alive” I knew it was time, I felt it in my soul, and he was ready to go. He had gone back into a coma and nobody was getting a response. I came in to say my final goodbyes. I hugged him and leaned to his ear and I whispered “I love you grandpa, but it is time for you to go be with your wife now.” As soon as I said those words everyone gasped and it startled me, I thought I hit a tube or knocked something out of place. I jumped back to see that I had not messed anything up but he was making a kiss face. He knew I understood and he knew that he was ready to go as well. I gave him one final kiss goodbye. He passed away a couple days later.
After his funeral we all went back to the house and were sharing stories of his life. I could tell my dad was upset but I sensed not just about his passing. My aunt Martha, (grandma’s sister) came in and sat down. She looked at my dada and she told this story:
Odean met your mom in a town called Cedar Crossing, it was a love at first site thing and he would always walk there to see here while they were dating. A little bit before he went into the hospital, he came over and visited. He sat for a while and then said “You know Betty Ruth has been gone for about 3 years, and for about 3 years I have been walking to Cedar Crossing. I know I will finally get there soon”.
This story, not only brings me to tears whenever I think about it, but it shows me that real love is strong and it never dies. I know they are together and I know they are happy.
I can only hope to find a love that strong in a lifetime. I miss them both so much and I will hold the memories close to my heart. The lessons I have learned from them will stay with me forever and I hope to pass them along to my own children one day.
Live life to its fullest, love truly, laugh as much as you can, and be there for one another. Life is too short to waste being bitter, holding grudges, or knocking people down. This is no dress rehearsal so you have to give it your best.
That is the short story of the people who inspired me and helped shape me to be the woman I am today. I love you both so much and miss you dearly.
